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Dirk goes crazy (because of Shilpa?)
Day 18 in the Big Brother house dawned with American actor Dirk Benedict displaying some pretty odd behaviour. He reveals he hasn't showered for four days, he talks about inspecting other people's shit (literally!) and says he communicates through skipping. The other housemates feel poor Dirk is slowly losing his marbles. The A-Team star has also taken to smoking indoors, much to the irritation of others.
Danielle and Cleo think Dirk's feelings for Shilpa are responsible for this new turn of events and decide to take matters to the Diary Room.
Danielle: Big Brother, we're worried about Dirky baby
Cleo: We are expecting alien visits
Danielle: Maybe he's asking them to drop off some beans
Cleo: He's very strange. It might be the frustration of sleeping close to Shilpa, but not close enough, if you know what I mean
The troublesome twosome decide to take matters in their own hands. They are thinking of hiding Dirk's underpants under Shilpa's pillow and watching their reactions. This way Cleo could also bring them together, or so she thinks. Personally, I don't think using underpants as Cupid's arrows is such a good idea.
Cleo also talks to Shilpa about Dirk, sans any reference to the underpants, of course. But Shilpa is being sensible.
Shilpa: He's very nice. BUT very old
Some Indian horror for Big Brother
Shilpa regales the girls with stories from her films. She mentions Ram Gopal Varma's Darna Mana Hain - a film which starred Shilpa as part of an ensemble cast in six horror stories woven together.
Shilpa plays a housewife who buys some strange apples from a roadside vendor and wakes up to find whoever ate the fruit turned into an apple. She's the only one left unscathed. Well, we sure hope Shilpa's the only one left unscathed by all the bad apples on Big Brother.
Dirk finally takes a shower (Thank God!)
Dirk smells his armpits and fortunately decides that the theory of smelly men turning women wild needed some more research. Immediately after his shower, he runs over to Shilpa.
Shilpa: Let me smell you
Dirk: Did I pass the sniff test? You should have had a before and after
But as she came close, the 61-year-old actor took the opportunity to steal a hug.
Cleo: Hey, is jumping Shilpa better than jumping rope?
Dirk: It gets your heart beating faster (Shilpa extricates herself from Dirk's hands as he tickles her) I will have my way with you. Honey, you're more fun than skipping rope
Jo: You dirty dog
Dirk leaves the room but the other girls are still planning to get the lonesome twosome together somehow.
Cleo: Now, it's a competition. This is fun now
Later, Cleo dresses up as her alter ego 'Tiara' and tries her charms on Dirk. But he's not amused. Finally Shilpa has to step in and asks Cleo to calm down as Dirk walks off in a huff.
Cleo gets bouquets, Jade some brickbats
If there's one person both Shilpa and Jermaine really like, it's Cleo.
Shilpa: I love her. She's so adorable
Jermaine: Very special, very very special. We should stay in touch with her
The conversation then turns, as it almost always does, to Jade Goody.
Jermaine seems to be thrilled that viewers chose the Londoner for eviction.
Jermaine: It's amazing. The situation and how it evolved and what was said...and how her followers...it was amazing. Wasn't it? Amazing. It's just good to know that people out there still look for the good in people because I'm pretty sure if I was acting ugly in here, I'd be out of here. It doesn't matter who you are, you just can't be cruel
Shilpa is still surprised she's not out of Big Brother yet.
Jermaine: Did you think that you were going to be leaving?
Shilpa: Yeah. Because she kept telling me that, you know, she has a huge fan base...she was saying to all of us that she had so many fans and people come up to her all the time telling her how much she's loved and she's the 20th most influential person in the world
Jermaine: That means nothing. What took place was about just being right. Being right. And if you're so famous and you're wrong, you're wrong... if you're not famous and you're right, you're right.
Shilpa hasn't got the eviction out of her mind and now proceeds to eat Ian's head.
Shilpa: In the Diary Room when they asked me 'how would you feel if you left and do you want to stay', I said, 'I don't know... I accept it either way. I'm prepared to go because I learnt that Jade has a great fanbase here and I know I have my fanbase in all the Indians and Pakistanis and Bangladeshis' and, I said... 'if they (the public) want me to be in here they'll keep me in here and if they don't want me in here they'll vote me out... so I accept their decision.'
Sock your time away and then clean
It's certainly boring in the Big Brother House without loudmouth Jade. Too much of peace and tranquility may not be a good thing after all. Shilpa and Cleo are talking in funny voices at the dining room table - using a pair of socks as phones. How childish is that.
Now Shilpa's really gone crazy. She snaps at poor Jermaine who's got into a cleaning streak.
Shilpa: What's got into you suddenly?
Big Brother, please make Jade come back on the show as a wildcard. I don't like this side of Shilpa at all.
Of chickens having sex
You can imagine how bored the housemates are feeling if the conversation turns to whether chickens have sex.
Jo: Do chickens have sex?
Cleo: I'm not entirely sure how it happens
Jo: A chicken lays one egg every day - they must have a lot of sex.
The conversation cracks up Shilpa. She's obviously thinking why Big Brother couldn't arrange for housemates to match her intellectual calibre.
Then Shilpa gets drunk
When in Rome, do as Romans do. Shilpa decides to try some of Danielle's cider.
Shilpa: It tastes like apple juice gone bad
Danielle: Shilpa's gonna be drunk in a minute!
Sure enough. Shilpa is behaving weirdly.
Shilpa: I think I am a little high...I'm a cheap date
Cleo: We don't want that getting out in the wrong context
Jo: Has that affected you? Seriously?
Shilpa: It's made me...
Danielle: Your eyes are rolling to the back of your head!
There are strong rumours that a new housemate will be joining the Big Brother house soon. Hope he or she saves Shilpa from her Jade-less frenzy.
DAILY HIGHLIGHTS of Shilpa's stint on Big Brother
Shilpa wins: The final moments
Day 11: Part Two
Day 10: Part Two
SPOOF - Shilpa nominated for Nobel Peace Prize
COMMENT - Of India, Sexual Racism and Shilpa Shetty
ANALYSIS - Racism on Big Brother: Shilpa Shetty to win
FORUM - Racism on Big Brother
Shilpa says Jade's behaviour not racial
The Best of Shilpa Shetty on Big Brother
And the winner is - Shilpa Shetty
Day 14 - The Jade-Shilpa row
Day 11 - Shilpa in the Jackson Five band
Day 20 - Shilpa's Showgirl routine
Day 19 - Shilpa's Aunt Jameela act
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