Tuesday, April 01, 2008

A day in the life of an MTV Roadie

Wake up. Fight for the loo. Bitch a little

Indulge in 'My dad owns a Mercedes' and yours is a 'low-class sabziwala' chat

If you are from Delhi, flaunt your Stephenian background. If you are from anywhere else, gang up against elitist Delhites.

Ensure your place in the limelight by mouthing the F-word or local Gen-X adaptations every two minutes.

(Who cares if your parents have called everyone in their neighbourhood to watch their beloved child make his/her TV debut)

When allotted a task, ensure you get the easy part but make sure it seems like you did all the hard work

If asked to play tennis and you don't win a point, assume indifference or say 'The ball was too fast'

Have fun driving bikes across India. Once in a while, cause an accident and get injured. If you are smart, you get sympathy. If you are not, you get all the flak

Assume expression of disgust when asked to shit in a ditch as part of once-in-a-while tough Roadie antics.

At impromptu quizzes, don't be ashamed if you answered 'Sushma' when asked to name India's president

Be prepared to play strip-poker. Just ensure you wear enough articles of clothing to last you 20 rounds

Rat out your teammates' secrets - Girl4 enhances her bust with pads, Boy2 referred to Girl5 as a prostitute.

If not privy to secrets, invent some.

If you don't have reasons to hate someone, invent some more - "Girl3 is too manly and flat-chested, I can't be friends with her".

At vote-outs, betray your 'friends' to ensure you remain in the race. When confronted, repeat with straight face - 'It's all part of the game'.

SOME TIPS
If you are a boy, flirt with Girl1 to make Girl2 jealous

If you are a girl, flirt with Boy1, Boy2 and Boy3 but act as if you can't stand Boy4

If you are smart, flirt with no one, be a brother/sister to each individual and bitch about each one in their absence

If you are dumb, be yourself. More brownie points if you are a nice person. You will be voted off the show first

(Ignore this post if you are not an MTV Roadies fan. Others, tune in to MTV to catch the latest or check out the official site)

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